As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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