This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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