He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize