you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
