We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize