member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
3pm strippers are depressing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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