Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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