Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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