did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
