STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I love black thongs
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
