yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
