At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Randomize
