love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
