I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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