Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
