Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
