If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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