I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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