The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize