note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize