I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
