hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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