the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
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She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth