Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.

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  (954): I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else. http://tfl.nu/idx6
  Replies (14) Good night (2371) Bad night (1229)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens

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  (210): cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens http://tfl.nu/njf7
  Replies (49) Good night (541) Bad night (3314)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate

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  (617): quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate http://tfl.nu/fqo5
  Replies (32) Good night (7847) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.

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  (516): and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars. http://tfl.nu/d908
  Replies (13) Good night (5523) Bad night (1156)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down

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  (978): if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down http://tfl.nu/hyp3
  Replies (22) Good night (748) Bad night (3058)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.

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  (978): She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent. http://tfl.nu/hcxv
  Replies (8) Good night (4017) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.

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  (434): we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino. http://tfl.nu/w9ni
  Replies (3) Good night (2836) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...

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  (360): Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told... http://tfl.nu/tfwr
  Replies (6) Good night (2444) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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  (610): Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic. http://tfl.nu/dj8z
  Replies (27) Good night (1146) Bad night (3274)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.

  (1-209): View more from California

  Duh.

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  (209): We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up. (1-209): Duh. http://tfl.nu/z6sv
  Replies (5) Good night (2003) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.

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  (518): HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR. http://tfl.nu/dsxu
  Replies (12) Good night (1908) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?

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  (615): Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help? http://tfl.nu/mn7q
  Replies (0) Good night (439) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.

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  (717): Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet. http://tfl.nu/jos6
  Replies (7) Good night (1291) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.

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  (603): Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on. http://tfl.nu/oqbv
  Replies (1) Good night (940) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.

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  (734): Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/t2kt
  Replies (10) Good night (1317) Bad night (638)

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