it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!