i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm experimenting with sincerity