Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
