what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Barsexuality is the new black.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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