And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
