You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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