Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
