4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
