hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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