Small penises have feelings too.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
