You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
