Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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