Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
