After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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