Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
