The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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