please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
