Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize