Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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