Walk of Shame. In a state park.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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