11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
