Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
