..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
