Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
