If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
