The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
