i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
