Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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