Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
