I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
