It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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