Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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