dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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