That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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