you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
