I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
