You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
