i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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