My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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