Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
