But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
