So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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