I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
