Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
